Strength

By T.C.

​I don’t have a bad marriage. I’m not a bad stepmom. I don’t have a bad life.

But it’s funny how the perfect storm of teenage attitude, past hurts, and what I can only hope was PMS can convince me otherwise.

Some days are just hard. One such day recently led me to a frantic online search for someone godly to speak to. I knew I couldn’t trust my own thoughts at that second, and I needed to fall apart in a way that would be difficult to do with someone that I knew well. So I eventually found a church with a women’s pastor in-house on the afternoon before a holiday, and I was soon in her office successfully working my way through the loud thoughts of hopelessness bouncing in my head as quickly as I was working my way through the better half of a box of Kleenex.

She caught me off guard when she confirmed my weakness. She confirmed the lack of hope. In an Ecclesiastes- like moment, she gently reminded me that there is absolutely nothing I can do… on my own, that is. But God can do anything if I allow Him to work through me. It hit me that my problem was not in my circumstances; my problem was in my futile attempts to do it all. My problem was my pride.

My thoughts lately have been consistently drawn to the exodus and the Israelites’ time in the desert. I can relate with Moses, who initially resisted His calling. I can relate to anyone who has to listen to lots of whining. I can relate to Moses’s anger with the Israelites and frustration at the sheer amount of time he had to invest. I can relate to the Israelites, wishing for more signs despite the miracles happening right at their fingertips. I can relate to their ingratitude as they apparently overlooked the abundance of blessings they’d been given. All of this describes me.

The beauty of this story isn’t in humanity’s ugliness. It’s in God’s power and His responses of grace and mercy. In their weakness, He was strong. They were ugly and mean and defiant, and He responded by performing miracles for their provision and remaining faithful to His promises. This is the case in my life today.

My word for the year is STRENGTH. This reminds me that it is not my strength that guides me, but His. I am powerless, but He is made strong in my weakness.

In His strength, I can have a strong marriage. In His strength, I can be an amazing stepmom. In His strength, I can have a God-honoring life. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.