The Junk in Marriage

Last week in our Facebook Group, I posted about the junk in marriage and there were several responses. Here is my original post and testimony by one of our leaders.

By Emily

Our men shoulder a lot. The other night my husband and I were sitting together on the couch, writing emails...the lawyer, biomom...handling some business that's come up. And he just looked so weary. It's all just so tiring, right? And we expect our men to be strong and just handle it because this is their junk! But we're married. It's OUR junk now. And I believe that God created marriage so that no one in the partnership should feel alone. We're a team!So I held his hand and said what I should have made sure he KNEW many years ago: this is not your fault. Whatever junk happened is way in the past and what comes from it, we face together. I don't pick and choose what I want to deal with, we deal together. Don't assume your sweetie knows this, or maybe he needs a reminder.  Hold hands, and stick together through the good and the junk!

By Linda Thomas

I want to add my words of testimony to the power of God in our marriages. In my journal entry below, I was at a pretty low point and crying out to God for help. This entry was 3 years into our marriage - and six years after my husband’s divorce. And while my husband wasn't choosing his ex over me in any kind of romantic way; it was all the other ways we are familiar with as stepmoms. The guilt he felt toward her and their sons’ kept him "obedient" to her demands where I was concerned. And kept me as an outsider in my own family for years. Less than two weeks after this journal entry, my husband came under "severe conviction of the Holy Spirit" (his words) and let the mom know how some things were going to be different going forward. This was huge and it was truly an act of God. There were many rough years ahead because the mom did not like her loss of control; but my husband and I were able to handle the awful times to come because we were united. No, it wasn't a one-time epiphany and we never had the same issue again. But we were on the path to a healthier, unified marriage - and God faithfully led us through those tumultuous years. We ARE on the other side of the junk. We recognize each other's strengths & weaknesses - and we are more in love than ever; more committed than ever; and more cognizant of God's grace and guidance than ever. Nothing and no one can change who God is to us and what he has done in us. More than anything else I pray for you all is that you and your husbands will be united in Christ and as a result will be united in your decision-making. God is with you and for you. Pray without ceasing. Forever he is faithful. There is NONE like him.

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