The Joyful Stepmom
PAS and the Christian Stepmom
Posted on February 6th, 2018

It has long been on my heart to somehow address one of the most difficult topics of divorced families- Parental Alienation Syndrome. This is a heartbreaking topic and family situation that makes you feel completely helpless. How, as Christians, can we handle this with our children? I am often asked this question or for resources. 

Information on Parental Alienation Syndrome: "​The late author and child psychiatrist Richard A. Gardner coined the term Parental Alienation Syndrome more than 20 years ago to characterize the breakdown of previously normal, healthy parent-child relationships during divorce and child custody cases. The definition of parental alienation is heartbreakingly simple—one parent deliberately damages, and in some cases destroys, the previously healthy loving relationship between the child and the child’s other parent."  From A Family's Heartbreak. Read more here. 
Image: Sweet to the Soul

In the Spring of 2017, this verse was shared with me.  I saved it to my phone and have been soaking it in ever since. I often bring the image up and turn it over and over in my mind.  The New Living Translation of this verse says "I will give back what you lost."  The New American Standard translates to "I will make it up to you." 

I currently live in a small, rural town. My subdivision was built on old farm land and there is still a working corn field next to us.  I've learned just a little bit about land by reading local news. The fields have to be well tended. Weather and bug life are outside forces that have a tremendous effect on the crops.  When the crop is eaten away or flooded out in one season, it is devastating! And it is something the farmer has no control over. 

But hope is not lost. 

Through dedication and care of his fields, the farmer rebuilds. It takes time! But the crop is restored. 

I cannot help but see a correlation, and a promise of hope, to those of us facing Parental Alienation. 

I don't know what this will look like for your family. But I believe this promise from the Lord. I believe if we remain faithful, if we plant the seeds and put in the work, the Lord will restore what is lost. 

Parental Alienation is devastating. It makes us feel helpless. Here are 2 of my favorite resources on the topic: Divorce Poison by Dr. Warshak and Ryan Thomas Speaks, particularly his YouTube videos. 

But most importantly, I believe we must have hope. God is writing the story for our family and we must plant the seeds, tend our fields and trust that the story isn't over. 

 


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